beauty and pain go hand in hand.

“i had such an awful dream last night.”

it is so good to be alone. i’m not sure how many know where we are, certainly no one realizes where we are going. or, they are incapable of appropriate anger, like me.

i will walk so much now. it is good to walk.

i am quan yin.

origins of anger

i think plants could have raised you well. fields of california wildflowers for a bed.

fixtured long-haired girl, another plopped on the couch. “why do they plop themselves on the couch…?”

the same over and over and over again, he says, then the “why why why whywhy why why????”

 how deco of you…..

his face full of terror, skin breathing fear in time. every story, the moon-shine.

no begging/ take take take take survival. we animals. please please please please BRI…..

dj vinegar. farmer beck. inside begs, take take take take.

 i was born in a trance.

i hold every one’s hand
when we dance.

your drug is my drug
we share.

i’ve never seen any one so scared.

it is so unnatural for me to be angry. i can’t see this… so, i am not seeing it.

bad feelings begat bad feelings.
turn around.

i don’t feel any thing i’m told. i just feel. and forget.

“ill-gotten gains.” he says.

confidence above shiny gold ring.
confidence above house.
confidence above fantasy.
confidence above your words.
confidence in every solemn look on my face.

away from so much grey…..

bad, bad feelings. though i am so powerful. i am always oozing confidence sap from every pore. changing my memories.

when you’re stuck, only you can dig you out; however you like it.

eat your karma.

 the pressure, light
just right.

there are images of octopus ink in ocean water…. poison spread so black and intense and full.

everything is burning and he is theholyfuckingfathersalve.

on and on and on again.

circle automatic// triangles furious.

fucking dominique and goddamned wanda.

its always like we are catching up. some dust mixed that up somewhere. i absolutely do not believe in reincarnation or spirit including person-ality outside of the body. what the fuck? you ARE your body.

i am in this. light a goddamned match, bitches.

it wont be loud enough until i turn it up. it wont taste right unless…..

time is to pass. i hate hate time. there is so much distance in it. i want CLOSENESS.

who would have known soooo many things are as easy as a decision? i am fascinated!

terence mckenna wept at the sight of the lovely living bugs!

it is so unnatural to compartmentalize. this is a fluidity.

less fear. more love.

 i would love to be a prostitute. i would love to be a sex surrogate. also, a polygamist. how fabulous!

i am fascinated by belief lately. this is an interesting exploration.

i am already immortal. i have no desire to force my…’essence’ on the future. there is no ‘me’ there. how silly.

i am so satisfied listening to you. thank you for allowing me to hear you, be with you, love you and cry with you.

your 1 pound of steak took 7 pounds of grain to make.

i am getting those romantic feelings again. i don’t get as aggitated about them, i guess. i just kinda go with them- though they are taking up soooo much tiiiiiime. i can’t stand uncertainty right now. what a jumbled mess.

been sleepwalking. again, with that determination to do whatever task and then….done. what a strange situation. 2 nights ago i pulled the battery out of my phone. a definite sign of what now has come to pass.

i feel like everything lays out in this very hard to articulate, better-to-draw fashion. there is an image, but no words, really.