June 20, 2013
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the happiest i have been is for others. i am always at a distance.
everything resonates so so deeply and slowly for me…..it takes ages for me to catch up and REALIZE.
i forget everything.
the closest i have to describing all of this is that i feel like i come from another planet…. so so distant.
there was an explosion, the fever pitch- KAPOW! the grasping, desperation, life boat, helping hand (pull me out of this mess)—and then, the fallout. radiation, missing limbs, death, blood, so much disease and filth. sigh. god. press on, press on.
i’ve got to let go. just let go and be and feel…..i am so so so so hard on myself. it is exhausting and all-consuming.
every thing in time. every single moment…all the hours.
