write down your secrets and throw them away.

let us be married forever. no matter what. this will all become a moment, any way. why not live it as such?

a Ulysses contract, but a few steps further still. this is going to happen. ok. let’s have the entire fucking cake and smear it all over eachother’s and everyone’s faces, yeah?

i have fantasies of taking my humble savings and turning it into musical instruments and recording devices. i fear learning more on these subjects because uh….then it would definitely happen. how horrible that would be, i am sure.

my swine children won’t judge me like my human ones will. is there more love in swine than human? but wait….god judges…and god IS love….and i thought love doesn’t judge. i thought wrong. there is no love or god in swine or human. maybe there is no judgement in the future….. wouldn’t that be free?! 

lordy, what a silly language english is. it is fun to play with. i am a cat with a recently deceased vole.

you don’t scare me, mother fucker.

i enjoy speaking colloquially. i want to be down in the mud with you, next to you, my loves. how boring screaming at you down my nose got…

you cannot separate shit. stop trying. let us try more ‘oooo’ and ‘awwwe’ at each other. let me lick your frontal lobes.

beware: my dark side!

the human disease: this dire NEED to explain and control. therefore, creation myths, ‘beginnings’ ‘endings’ ‘spirit’. it is so complex. ok, but what about the simple? i was not plucked to be born. i will not be returned after death. i am made of stars, just like the dirt. put me back there- sans being shot up with chemicals or incinerated and ground into dust, thank you. dig a hole and drop my ass in it, please. all thanks.

please don’t keep me from doing what i want. i know better what is right for me than you. trust me.

if women’s bodies naturally reabsorb fertilized eggs all the goddamn time, what is wrong with me deciding to have the egg dissolved of on my own? ONLY HALF OF FERTILIZED EGGS FUCKING IMPLANT IN THE FIRST PLACE. goddamn your ignorance. for shame. let’s hug, it’s ok. i forgive you. let a fucking person decide what feels right for them. it’s only humane.

and remember, my babies: forgiveness is for the forgiver. it is your peace your are granting your self. you are the person who you should be most concerned with peace-having. let every one else find their own in their own way.

 i am all ways looking for this thing that does not live in the realm of finding. not even close. now……hmmm….where else could it be…?

love love love love

it’s the simple things. don’t forget.

i still give people too much credit.

some people have real problems.

for your pleasure

we KNOW when the other is speaking the truth. i cannot explain. it’s that quiet minisecond moment following that speaks it. aaaaack at the heart.

the beat has so much to tell you. jesus!

i met him, by the way. i found christ. he was walking in the garden wearing a hat. noli me tangere. this makes me the whore magdalene. no, not really.

that port

the idealist takes you to the trees.
the rational will bring you to the stars.

redemption. i have issues with this word. it comes up a lot.

so much rotting fruit. running in circles. it is so good to be alone.

them introverts will shock you. the best place to hide is in plain sight. i am unsure how every nuance is to be reconciled. let us discover….

i want to be closer to my sisters. it’s not easy.

you may not always have comfort…and you definitely don’t deserve it, nor are you fucking entitled. the truth will kick your ass. i don’t know why it’s so necessary to measure things. let them steal. fucking let them. i’m tired of righteousness. i’m really tired.

the disconnect is piling on top of itself.

let’s learn. prescribed now is 10 minutes(ish) of eye contact. 20 minutes(ish) of physical SKIN ON SKIN contact. and lots of silence. why do we think we aren’t babies? why do we forget we are children? savor dissonance sometimes, i think. shame on you, ego. you cannot have it all, all ways.

when i become deaf, it’s going to be all varying stones and minerals on hips. my hands on everything in dress pockets. always. i am sure this is why Karin is the way she is. and by Karin, i mean June. maybe if Keirsey lives, i can get some peace with this. i am scared of all these numbers surrouding my brothers. and measurement. why must we quantify sooooo many thiiiiings? ack!

 i’m bringing limes to the stranger dance party.

love love

scream sounds blonde.

lenten trees. those admit confusion. take your goddamnedmotherfucking TIME.

i cannot hear. making my way slooooowly in to the room. so fucking slowly. i am not reluctant. just slow. S and L and OWE.

rain music. we all have all sides. views. every thing is an option. do not be so surprised. we are seething with jealousy.

“i get excited when i get confused”

as writer, i know. i know only this way. not feMINEne, nor *clap clap* human, nor self. fuck all.

i remember no thing. (is what ian curtis meant, certainly) it’s hard to be so cold when you’re this drunk.

i am truth incarnate. this speckled lettuce is the most beautiful i’ve seene. save for perhaps C’s bibb.

as a matter of course. instant auric glow.

i am so unsure. maybe i take it too seriously. i can’t blame myself for that though…. i think it’s too soon to take any thing that seriously, however. save for the fact time is fucking passing.

there is no point. you want it or you don’t.

peaches and goldfrapp should make a record together. peach frapp. gold peach.

too much light sometimes. the extremity isn’t so much. very tempered.

i think folks just get worn down. they’re looking for something they can do. they do it. it fucking SUCKS. they do it still, for this reason. worn the fuck down. we are told so many lies. what a shame. let’s try again: TRUTH! what’s to lose?

i really would have loved the 80s.

howling.

rowling
rowing. rau-ing. ring.

RING RINGring. louder. biding time in the closet. with the cans.

the breeze floating through my room. pink. veins. blueveined.

the cure for bad dreams is shaking the marbles up.

i was twenty-five, and i died.

making christmas. delusions of grandeur!

lene lovich

eventually, you come to terms with those dichotomies. the blurriest. they may never be clear- so, shrug.

i know exactly what the fuck i fucking want. something is empty. this means you must fill it up?! ha. AND a scoff.

i cannot maintain calm now. everything blew out the window. i pulled off, now out in the field picking up the pieces. naps and conversations intermittent.

lady gaga and pj harvey are THE SAME MAN. we all have moose-tash-ays here. take your smooth upper lip elsewhere.

mixed blood. someone has got to understand this one thing. i don’t care to converse over it either. just to feel heart under standing will suffice.

kiss me, i’m on fire.

i never wanna be the one you long for
i never wanna be the one you like
i never wanna hear that i have hurt you
i never wanna hear the sound of you cry
i only want to be your spy
i never wanna be the one

go hang from someone else’s tree
don’t pin your hopes on me

i’d rather drink anything out of a tea cup. thank you. handles on every thing.

to get people to care, look, take interest. or rather to CARE that they do those things or want them to…

i am so far bee-hind. ‘meet me on the dark side’

some of the times you’ve got to let go of some care. it’s not all ways pos’tive. a constant tension. THEE slightest discomfort…push push pussshhh

buzz, strain, pull, dull.

double-llllls. all yer limbs.

it’s a drive-in saturday! i cannot understand why it is so hard to be loud enough. this place is impossible to find. see?? with that vocoder.

i want to cover you in all my ink.

i know not where you come from.