September 2, 2008
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i feel completely helpless and alone. i don’t know what to do to help.i feel like my attempt to do so would only serve to hurt me further. does that make me a selfish person- in that i’m unwilling to even tryto stand up and say “you’re committing fraud, and i’m sure you’restealing from other people too”? are inaction and ignorance equatable sins to any other? the outcome of all this insanity is that i will getthe money back that my employer stole and these two new vows to myself:
i will never work for a corporation again.
i will never accept health insurance again.
NO big business is morallyclean. it’s easy to fool yourself into thinking it possible, but whenexamined and experienced you will stumble upon that bit of clear glassto really look inside. many of us are better purveyors of the propermagic it takes to effectively delude one’s self into this blindness andwill never have to feel the pain of truth entering their minds.others….many different things come of those. i’m still not surewhat’s going to come of me yet.
what i’ve learned this afternoon is that the only sort of solitude that is perpetually maintained is in your own mind. which is something i am eternally grateful for. no one, nothing, not ever, can touch or harm me.
moving onward- i am very much looking forward to being with the best people i’ve ever known and home, in my valley. just the thought of driving down the 99 brings tears to my eyes. home, happiness, love.
kiss kiss
