July 1, 2007
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i am the spoiled little girl epitomized. to have taken love so lightly, the one gift i could never possibly hope to return while on my feet, shoulders back and head held high, i will pay for having twisted and foresaken- taken completely for granted with my very blood. i feel my punishment growing inside of me (quite literally) at all hours during the day….even a little heart beat.
how dare i assume at anything. how sick one can be to think at an unbalanced nature. all is impossible……… i am a wreck, and i’ll display that sad fact to anyone willing to watch me drag my sullen head through the now filthy melted snow of years ago.
if i must row through seas of sand for milleniums knowing only that one day i will come ashore to a vast land of water where he is my king so that i may parish at his feet, i will. oh god, only after tomorrow and monday spent alone…..
how cruel i have been. how sick i am. how lost and hateful i remain.
please let go……
