May 21, 2007

  • PERSPECTIVE IS ALL

    70sbeaver

    success!………?? maybe not…..?

    i have mastered unavailability. huzzah. people want me soooooo badly. close the store for me, bri. let me come see you in cali, bri. let me LOVE YOU, BRI. what-the-fuck-ever.

    jawshy will be here wednesday. i have that and thursday off. fuck them. i won’t answer when they call. done.

    petunia scares meeee…….charlie scaaaaares me. 2 vehicles, no fucking safety offered from either. how gypped have i been? spoiled, ungrateful little bitch.

    everything is a fucking decision with me. i really am a fucking robot. i am conscious of all of it. ALL of it. i know exactly what the fuck i’m doing- just not in the best way. it’s so wasted.

    a note on Goldfrapp: Felt Mountain gets you turned on, Black Cherry really gets you going and ready, and then Supernature actually gets you off.

    i really fucking hate that man. i really fucking do. goddamn.

    http://www.sit-spanking.com/wm/mg/mg031/pclip01.wmv

    paralyzation. i feel so……? everyone you touch is going to leave with a piece of you. keep them around until you’re sure of your ability to deal when they finally do run off with whatever it is. i miss caseykins and his soothing, i miss nicky & angielove and all their loviness, i miss brianne and all our giggling, i miss rossyboy and his purity, i miss bobblibear’s voice and ability to make me feel like everything was going to be just fine (because no matter what, she would make it that way), i miss me and my soul.

    life is only a view.

Comments (2)

  • brrrriiiiiianne….and why did i download that video….miss you too

  • it will get better, and in response to your last post: Torches TogetherWhy burn poor and lonely under a bowl or under a lampshadeOr on the shelf beside the bedWhere at night you lay turning like a door on its hinges?…First on your left side, then on your right side… then your left side again.Why burn poor and lonely?Tell all the stones we’re gonna make a building…We’ll be cut into shape and set into placeOr if you’d rather be a window, I’ll gladly be the frame,Reflecting any kind words, we’ll let in all their blame…And ruin our reputation all the same.So never mind our plan making, we’ll start living…Anyway, aren’t you unbearably sad?Then why burn so poor and lonely?We’ll be like torches!We’ll be like torches!We’ll be like torches… OH!!We’ll be torches together… TORCHES TOGETHER!!We’ll be like torches!We’ll be like torches… with whatever respect our tattered dignity demands,Torches together… hand in hand.Why pluck one string… what good is just one note?Oh, one string sounds fine, I guess… but we were once ‘one notes’,We were lonely wheat quietly ground into grain…What light and momentary pain!So why the safe distance, this curious look?Why tear out single pages when you can throw away the book?Why pluck one string when you can strum the guitar?Strum the guitar!Strum the guitar!Strum the guitar… with no beginning, with no end.Take down the guitar and strum the guitar!Strum the guitar if you’re afraid.And I’m afraid and everyone’s afraid and everyone knows it,But we don’t have to be afraid anymore.You played the flute, but no one was dancing,You sang a sad song… but none of us cried.You played the flute, but no one was dancing,And you sang a sad song, and none of us cried.You played the flute, but no one was dancing,You sang a sad song… but none of us cried.You played the flute, but no one was dancing,And you sang a sad song… you sang such a sad song.

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